Magpapaturo daw kasi sila ng Physics.

I was young, you said. I didn’t know anything about life yet, you said. You didn’t want to take anything away from me, you said. And you took one more step away from me, and another, and another. But you see, I don’t think any of those matters. For yes, I was young and I may have not known anything about life yet and you not wanting to take anything away from me might have been right for me but what am I without you? Haven’t you ever thought that maybe I would have wanted to spend my youth with you? Or I may have wanted to know things about life from you? Or maybe you wouldn’t really take anything away from me if you just stayed with me because in the first place, I knew that you would have given me everything that I needed and even more? 

You stayed away; walked out of my life because you were bad for me, you said. But you know what? You might have been just the best thing that happened to me if you just stayed beside me. 

I miss you and I know that you’re right for me, that we are right. Please come back to me, my love.

Kasi, pag maaraw pero di kami makalabas gawa ng snow…

Spring Snow. 

Dublin, 2013

You left. And no matter how hard I try and push myself to forget, I just can’t. Your smile and your anger, your laugh and your tears, your joys and your sorrows, they just won’t leave me alone. Every second of my everyday is spent struggling to come to terms with planning to move on from the pain and the hole you brought me. You left me alone. You left me with nothing but memories which slowly kill my being. I fought hard, you knew that. Now, look at me. What do you see? My life is a big black void. All I can think of is the way your hand felt in mine, the way your eyes danced when we were together, the bed we once shared, the stubbornness, the childish games and you. Of course, you. What went wrong? We were once happy, weren’t we? I fought hard, you knew that. I tried hard. Why was I not enough? Did you just grow tired of me? Will I ever forget you? Will I ever forget us? Maybe, it will take a little more time to forget you and the feelings I have for you. Maybe a little more time and a little more beer to drain these thoughts of you from my mind. Maybe a little more time to move on from you. But oh, who am I kidding? I guess I never will. How could I, when the best thing that ever happened to me so far was you? It will always be you. Yeah, I guess I will never be able to forget you. 

You were young and I was wild. You were there, wherever I was. You truly liked me - “loved” as you’ve always corrected me - and I knew that. But I also knew that you couldn’t take all of my bullshit even though you didn’t ever show it. You frowned upon every alcohol, cigarette butts and parties but I didn’t care. You were too good and I didn’t want to blemish you. I was the opposite of you and you told me that you don’t care, that you can live with it. But I’ve caused you pain and I don’t want you hurting so I pushed you away. You kept on coming back though.

Oh my, I might just be the worst decision you’ve ever made. 

I pretended not to care but I sincerely, truly do. And because I care for you, I want you to be happy - genuinely happy. You’re still young and good and bright. And you’re everything I’m not. I’m sorry. I just have to let you go for now my sweet boy. Someday, my darling. Someday.

2 years ago.

You know what? You’re the storm to my peace and quiet. It’s like you came into my life, trembled my safe place and made me doubt my ideals. What I believed in before seems shaky and unsteady now. You rushed your way into my existence and made me question everything that I was so sure of. You rained on my warmth. You drizzled on my summer. You flooded my world. It’s like all the truths I believed in started to falter when you walked into my life. But you know what? I still want to keep you. I kinda like how you make me look at this earth in a completely different perspective. You are the slight crispness I didn’t know I’ve always longed for during the summer heat. You are the cool sprinkle that calms me down and hushes me into the most peaceful state of mind. You are the cool breeze that hums me into tranquility. You may have shaken up my zest a bit but so far you may be the only storm I would wanna keep in my life, the only rain I could dance in. So, please stay.

Town.